Flashing red lights floating down the icy waters of the Middle Loup River in Hooker County signal fun, not distress. The devices fell from the livestock tank in which the “Animal E.R. Care” team is competing. As they navigate nautical hazards, the team of veterinary technicians from Colorado hope to repeat their title as the fastest women’s team in the annual Polar Bear Tank Race near Mullen.

With temperatures climbing fast, the ladies cool off by shedding plush costumes in the form of a pig, rabbit and … whale? The sea-faring mammal is whimsical.

The downstream adventure begins with smooth sailing until rounding a bend blocked by a cedar tree snag. Tank to tank and paddle to paddle, through overhanging limbs that sting in the cold, the vet techs pull away from their nearest competitors, dodging a submerged tree in front of the dual box culvert passing under Nebraska Highway 97. They correctly paddle into the dark opening to the north and emerge 300 yards from the finish. Choosing the south chute would have lodged the racers against an unpassable slurry of sand, sticks and mud.

The race is an annual fundraiser for the Sandhills Journey Scenic Byway – the stretch of Nebraska Highway 2 from Grand Island to Alliance. The event’s weather can vary wildly year to year, from 80 degrees and sunny to minus 10 with snow and ice. The early March day of this race began crisp, ice clinging to the riverbank.

The Middle Loup River is a year-round destination, with families riding inner tubes, kayaks and canoes in the warmer months. Only the hardiest souls brave the spring-fed Sandhills stream during winter in Western Nebraska.

The competitive spirit on the tank race’s winter weekend kicks off on dry land the night before the river run, at the Hooker County Fairgrounds’ new event center west of Mullen. Beer tops pop as friends pick up where teasing left off last year. Hugs, handshakes and laughter are dished out as 15 teams of tomorrow’s tank racers swap oars for spoons as tonight’s soup judges.

The judges bravely sample chicken cordon bleu soup, white chicken chili, and a questionable concoction named “Byway Gumbo.”

Raucous conversation hushes when the soup winners receive their awards, and race organizers announce the next morning’s race departure times.

The room erupts with applause at the announcement that Mimi Axline, a regular since the inaugural race in 2008, is turning 75. “I’m actually 76, but that’s OK,” she said. “I love this town and these people.” She’s only missed one race, due to illness, and she’s still upset about it.

The Axlines were loaded and ready for their 260-mile drive from Dorchester to Mullen in 2013 when Mimi began having chest pains. After being released from a Lincoln hospital hours later at 4 p.m., Mimi told Harold, “We can make it.”

The Axlines axed their plans after sons Tim and Todd expressed reservations about their mother embarking too soon on a lengthy road trip and strenuous river adventure. She became part of the event after all when a racer called and put Mimi on speaker. “Everyone hollered ‘get well soon’ and ‘wish you were here,’ ” Mimi said through tears.

The soup crowd thins as teams seek liquid fortitude of another kind, sliding tables together at Big Red’s Bar & Grill, wedged between Nebraska Highway 2 and Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railway tracks. At 20 people from around the world, the crowd is a large one for this village of 460 residents, the only incorporated community in Hooker County.

Hoping to fit into Red’s evening rancher crowd, Lalit Jha of the “Born to Be Tanking” team wears a pair of Levi’s jeans, cowboy hat and big belt buckle. Even so, his thick Nepalese accent gives him away.

“Coming to Mullen each winter is like a family gathering at Christmas, a brotherhood,” said Jha, a water resources engineer for JEO Consulting Group in Lincoln. “When I got married, I told my wife that I need two days out of every 365 for the tank race.”

The digital display at First State Bank in Mullen flashes 22 degrees as Mitch Glidden fires up his yellow bus at daybreak – not to provide warmth for racers – but to clear the frosted windshield. The drone of the engine stirs all but the groggiest contestants dozing at the Sandhills Motel that Glidden owns with his wife, Patty.

Because his summers are spent helping other people take to the river, winter tanking is Glidden’s chance to float his own tank. His slack season habit led to the creation of the annual race, which has since raised more than $60,000 for the byway.

After a “last meal” breakfast courtesy of the Mullen Marksmen 4-H Shooting Sports Club, the first bus heads northwest through the Sandhills, down a sand trail and over four cattle guards. Mule deer and horses stare as the bus crawls across a railroad flatcar repurposed as a bridge.

Laughter echoes through the river valley as the ladies of the Yuma County (Colo.) Yacht Club climb aboard their tank that is decorated with nets, seashells and a mermaid. The women are not serious competitors.

“Last year we went so fast – 1 hour, 38 minutes and 27 seconds – that we didn’t enjoy it,” said B.J. Wilson of Wray, Colorado. “This time we are just floating. It’s supposed to get up into the 70s today, maybe I can get a tan.”

Yacht Club master Marlene Miller, Wilson, and the other crew members fit their team’s nautical name wearing sailor’s caps complete with golden rope. Some unbutton their blazers to reveal bikini print T-shirts.

“I’ve been tanked before, but I’ve never been tanking,” Miller said, eliciting more guffaws.

Dan Avery launches the Yacht Club’s vessel into the current and begins tossing life jackets into the next tank. The Hay Springs resident has been helping with the event since 2010 and is a top competitor. He was a member of the River Ratts team with Adrian Jensen, Mitch and Patty’s son. Jensen died in 2017.

“We changed the team name after he died because we knew it would never be the same,” Avery said. “He was my best friend, and he loved this race.”

Glidden recalls how the River Ratts began.

“We had two singles show up for the race,” she said. “I told Adrian and his friend, Tony Corbin, that I was putting those two guys with them. They won and won it so often through the years that people started thinking it was rigged.”

Mullen resident Corbin cites the loss of his friend as the reason he no longer competes. From a small tree trunk, he carved the traveling trophy now awarded at the event. “Adrian kept growing this race and made it what it is today,” Corbin said. “By awarding this to a team that represents the spirit of the race, we honor his memory.”

The prize reads, “In honor of our captain, Adrian Jensen, River Ratts,” and includes their fastest Polar Bear Tank Race time of 56 minutes, 57 seconds. The record still stands.

Mitch Glidden and his volunteers cheer as the stripped down “Animal E.R. Care” crew floats under the finish line. They are the first female team to arrive, although official times will not be announced until tonight’s prime rib dinner.

Not yet out of the river, repeat champion Felicia Mckitterick of “Animal E.R. Care” pulls out her cellphone to snap a photo at the same time one of her teammates yanks the tank toward the bank.

The phone slips from her hands and sinks into the murky river. Mckitterick weeps. Teammates, competitors and Mullen locals offer hugs and words of encouragement. The tactic works.

“This part of Nebraska is beautiful – especially when viewed from a tank on the river,” Mckitterick said. “When winter returns to the Sandhills, we’ll be back, too.”

 

Getting Tanked

winter heats up during the Polar Bear Tank Race. The event on the Middle Loup River near Mullen celebrates is fourteenth year in 2021. Lodging, an event T-shirt,  soup cook-off, prime rib banquet, other meals, prizes, racing tank, life jackets, oars and transportation to and from the river are included with each paid registration. Fee is $210 per person. Teams must be made up of at least four adventurous members. The Polar Bear Tank Race takes place March 5-6, 2021. For complete rules or to sign up reach Mitch and Patty Glidden at (308) 546-2206 or pglidde@neb-sandhills.net. No matter the weather, this winter river trip will overflow with adventure.